Daily Supplement

The other day I wrote about domestic violence. To my utter and complete amazement, some of you got rather upset about how strongly I view the situation. I guess I just took for granted the fact that my fellow HUMAN BEINGS would think, the same way  I do, that domestic violence is a sick and scary problem that has to be stopped. To my shock, I found that at least one of you, think  differently. You wanted to know where it was that I got my facts, well then I’ll tell you…the fact in question “in a national survey of more than 6,000 families, 50 percent contain men who frequently abuse their wives.” that comes from the paper, ’Physical Violence In American Families; Risk Factors and Adaptations to Violence’ Strauss, Murray A Gelles, Richard j Smith. Other facts from my paper were sourced through the following,  Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, Intimate partner Violence, 1993-2001// U.S. Department of Justice, Violence by Intimates: analysis of data on crimes by current or former spouses, boyfriends, and girlfriends, March 1998//Center for Policy Research, Stalking in America, July 1997.  …oh yeah, and than there’s me. I am a survivor of domestic violence, so I guess I know a little about what I speak of. You told me to “teach yourdaughters self-respect and self-worth.” That you don’t know how many domestic violence cases you’ve defended where the woman didn’t want to testify. You told me, “if your daughters think they are garbage, they will stick with the garbage that abuses them.” I feel so incredibly sad for you if that is truly what you think, what you feel in your heart, that these women, these girls, deserve to be beaten by the man that they love, all because they had low self esteem, all because they couldn’t love themselves enough to free themselves, all because they had the misfortune to fall for the worst kind of guy. I will tell you that the beaten come from all walks of life. Some are poor, some wealthy. Some are educated, some are not. This is not a problem that you can label, it strikes everywhere. I grew up the daughter of a lawyer and a vice president of business. I was a cheerleader, went to college, got a degree, and still I found myself in an abusive relationship! In this day and age there are too many little girls looking to be loved. Too many little girls looking to replace fathers that they never had, but always longed for. 60% of marriages end in divorce leaving a lot of girls looking to replace the love that they are missing from a male. So we should what? Ignore what is happening? We should go back to, closing the window, or to screaming, “FIRE”, because these girls and woman bring it on themselves by not having enough bravity and self esteem to leave? I hope that no one you ever know goes through anything as horrible as this, but if they do, keep in mind that they are doing all that they can just to stay alive untill the next day, that their brain no longer works the same way that it used to, it’s been shaped and twisted  by its abuser, and its one thought, is to make the abuser happy enough that she, and the ones that she loves, will live.

Well, whatever it is that you believe, whether you wanted to elect, Obama, or McCain, you have to admit at least ONE thing… as a nation we made history yesterday! Look, I don’t claim to know what the coming 4 years will bring, what I do know is that after hundreds of years of segregation this country has finally taken a big brave step forward for the HUMAN RACE. Congratulations America for raising above and for giving us even the slightest ray of hope that we, as a nation, may have a fighting chance against the prejudices that have held our country for long enough in its strangle hold! Whether Obama, is the greatest leader of the free world that we have ever seen, or whether he is as awful as some fear he may be, he has still helped to bring our country to a place that it desperately needed to be. The simple fact that a black mother or father can now look their child in the eye and say, “This is America. YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE!” gives me hope for our people unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. We, as a nation, have strived towards equality for so long, finally we seem to be heading in the right direction!

Yeah! It’s my Most favorite of all the holidays! Halloween!! The only time of year when adults can forget that their grownups, with grownup responsibilities, and just let loose. The only time of the year when we can dress up, as a cat, a lion, a pirate, or even a  serial killer, and people won’t look at us like we’re freaks! Thank goodness for Halloween! Anyway in the spirit of the day  I was wondering… have any of you ever seen a ghost, or had something ‘unexplainable’ happen to you? If so, I’d love you to tell me all about it. I myself have a strange story to tell. It happened when I was only 4, or 5 years old. I was sleeping with my parents, in their bed, in our old house in Quincy, ma. I can remember waking up and seeing an old woman with gray hair and black clothing sitting in an old fashion wooden wheelchair at the foot of my parents bed. I wasn’t afraid of the woman, which was strange because in my little girl mind she looked just like I imagined  a witch would look. She asked me if I knew what had happened to Abigail. “Where is Abigail? Have you seen her? Is she here?” she kept asking me. “No. I don’t know her” I said, “She’s not here. Are you a deetch?” (my little girl pronunciation for witch.) “I neeed to find my little girl…will you help me find Abby?” Before I could answer the woman, my mom woke up. She asked who I was talking to, apparently she couldn’t see the lady like I could cause she was still sitting right there at the foot of the bed. “A deetch. She’s looking for Abby.” I told her. My mother must have thought that I was having some sort of bad dream and that I was afraid of whatever it was that I was claiming to see, because she woke up my dad and made him take the witch out to the trash where it wouldn’t frighten me anymore. The thing is, I wasn’t frightened. Over the years I never forgot what that woman looked like, what her wheelchair looked like, the name of the person that she was looking for…Abby.  Over the years I have become more convinced that something really happened all those years ago, that perhaps I saw a ghost. Some people believe that the veil between the worlds is thinner when we are children, that some have the ability to see beyond the pale. Five years ago I asked a friend of mine who happens to be a historian, to help me track down the history of that old house in Quincy and the land on which it was built. Want to have your mind blown? In 1903 there stood on that property another house. The house belonged to, Rose Etherly, and her husband, Edward Etherly. They had one child. A daughter. Her name was, Abigail Etherly. In 1913, the father Edward, passed away, leaving the house to his wife and his unmarried daughter, Abby. Rose and Abby lived in the home until 1917 when the house burned to ground. Abigail was killed in the fire, her mother was unable to help her daughter because she had been confined to a wheelchair the year before. So, how ’bout it? Did I blow your mind? I have to admit that it still gives me the chills every time I think about it! I hope Rose has found her Abby, that she has stopped searching that big old lonely house and  moved on to somewhere far better.

What’s a girl to do when she thinks that both candidates for president are inexperienced and lousy choices? Truth be told I can’t stand to listen to one more word from either of their mouths. You want to know what I have gotten from these ‘oh so enlightening’ debates between the two men in line to run our country? A bunch of backtalk, a few unbelievable lies, and a bunch of weeble wobble crap! The way I see it? Neither one is to be believed, they’re just feeding us all what it is that they think we need to hear in order to get our vote. It won’t be till one of these bags of hot air is elected into office that we’ll finally figure out what their ‘real’ agenda is. Pick your posion and buckle up boys and girls, I have a very strong feeling that we’re in for a bumpy ride!